i am
supposed to be studying but obviously am not…
spending most of my time thinking
bout things i know better than to think of right now.
these days there’s a mcflurry of thoughts residing in my head,
taking up the space i’d intended
for the urea cycle,
the muscular dystrophies,
the one million and one foreign names that stand for diseases.
i’m classically screwing things up,
kai-style.
in more ways than one,
i’m waiting…
for the shit
to hit
the fan.
sometime last week i was reprimanded by an old lady for wearing a mini-skirt to mass. i wasn’t in any way trying to seduce the priest, or attract men, boys and lesbians to accompany me on my journey to hell. it simply slipped my mind that i was wearing a relatively short skirt, since i had gone straight to the mass from somewhere else. i realize now that it was inappropriate, and completely my fault, but the shame i felt was proportional to how pissed off i was at being humiliated. i no longer go to that church. i don’t think that was the point she was trying to make, but it’s the message i got anyway. i’m sorry my skirt wasn’t as long as your pashmina, lady. i’m sorry the sight of my bare calves offended you.
but i wasn’t there for you. in any case, i’ll go speak with my God in another place, another church, or maybe just in my head again.
i know i’m not always right, and that there are probably a million arguments against what i just said. i don’t really care.
throw your stones.
